if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize