is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
