i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
