If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i believe in u and ur pee
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