Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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