I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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