from now on my penis is your penis
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
