You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
