Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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