There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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