I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
