In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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