We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I wear drunk well.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize