Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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