Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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