I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
