Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
