Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
