Why are handjobs necessary in class?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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