I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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