Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
