That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
