im drinking this country out of the recession.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
