You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
