i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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