it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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