Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
two words...techno handjob
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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