I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize