I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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