but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
