Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
