dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
