Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
