No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
