1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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