I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Can vaginas get frostbite?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
