we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
