and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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