We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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