More tranny stories later!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize