We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
