Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Farmville is her only friend.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
