shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
