It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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