they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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