The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
