this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
