Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
