People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
