That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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