he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Your cock deserves a montage
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
