Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
