I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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