You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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