i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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