Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize