areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i barfeds in our rink
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
