I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
