i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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