your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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