a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
