bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize