I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
