I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
