You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
