I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Two words: blizzard sex
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
