Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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